She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
