The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
People with herpes should wear stickers.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize