god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
