brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
