Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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