Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
