i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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