is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
