apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
