Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
