I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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