Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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