are you still at the devil's house?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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