shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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