**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize