Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize