My room smells like vodka and shame
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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