Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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