3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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