I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize