I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize