Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize