I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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