I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
