spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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