It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
