Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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