He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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