is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
