dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize