No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
