I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
