Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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