next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
