I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize