accomplished twins. life is a go
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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