I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
