O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
