they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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