he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
