fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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