Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
