69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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