You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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