Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize