He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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