he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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