it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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