Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I deserve this hangover.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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