I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
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Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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