Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
