does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize