where am i from again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
