PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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