weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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