if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
