so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
