He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
