lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I faked an abortion last night.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
