I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
