Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
