Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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(503): View more from Oregon

you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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(619): View more from California

The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

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(331): View more from Illinois

DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.

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