you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need a beard to bite.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
