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Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?