I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.