Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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