turn off your phone and go to bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine