My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
