Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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