i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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