It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
