The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
